
RIP Patrick, you're in a better place now. When will celebrities learn that drugs can only lead to heartache and death? Let his death be a reminder to us us all to stay true and follow the word of God.
God Bless,
Antonie
I hate things. You hate things too.

I have long been a lover of both fashion and cookery. This blog will do two things. Firstly, it will be my attempt at sharing my immensely good taste, in the hopes that it may reduce the despair I so often feel when I look upon the ineptly clad masses surrounding me. Secondly, it will be a place where I will seek to enhance your quality of life through the sharing of my culinary exploits; both cooking and eating related. My primary focus is baking, but I love all genres of food.

http://www.ellasfashionbakery.blogspot.com

In a surprisingly erotic turn of events, I had the immense pleasure of watching Lars Von Trier's latest offering, Antichrist, in this year's film festival. There are three things that I learned from watching the film: 1. (All) Women are evil. 2. Sometimes foxes say things, things like "chaos reigns". 3. Charlotte Gainsbourg used to have a pretty nice clitoris and when she cut it off with a pair of rusty scissors it made a squelching sound not unlike the sound made by squashing an over-ripe lemon with the heel of your foot. Admittedly, I was only conscious sporadically throughout the film owing to the fact the overall eroticness of the film lead me get the most painfully rock hard erection of my life which deprived my brain of oxygen at various points leading me to pass out (think Last Tango in Paris but with DDG (drop dead gorgeous) Willem Dafoe instead of Marlon Brando). However, I was sentient long enough to realise that the film literally represented the age-old (1970s) 2nd wave feminist rhetoric of 'evil castrating, sadistic woman/women goes on evil, sadistic, castrating rampage, threatens masculinity/patriarchy and therefore must be punished (she gets strangled to death at the end of the end of the film while a deer, a fox and a crow watch on with shocked awe), how fucking provocative/original, Lars truly is the greatest director of our time (because Von Trier has never explored this theme before (I'm lying), yawn). Apparently it was some sort of social comment on how narrative cinema still employs this strategy 50 years on, but how it's hidden in Megan Fox's cavernous (think Tori Spelling) cleavage, or something. After relieving myself in the nearest trash receptacle/woman I sat there thinking 'I can't unwatch that', which is a shame because it was probably the most childish film that I saw in the festival (and I saw Ponyo). At least it was kind of funny when Charlotte Gainsbourg castrated Willem Dafoe by smashing his genitals with a milestone and then masturbated him until he ejaculated blood all over her face. Kind of funny. Kind of.
Isaac Likes (bukKake (zing)) is currently in Europe going all over the place doing all sorts of things in the name of fashion. Purportedly, at least. However, some top notch undercover sleuthing on my part has uncovered the true reason behind his trip abroad: homosexual intercourse. Recently Isaac posted this little gem:The Gay Pride rally was all a bit noisy for me after a long day of shows, so last night I left the naked street dancing men of Le Marais and headed out into the balmy Parisienne night. I met up with Zippora and some of her model friends at a bar named La Perle (a word I had extreme difficulty pronouncing until I found out it's said just like 'pearl' in English).
However, a source close to Isaac (see his dildo), revealed that it instead should have read:
The Gay Pride rally was all a bit noisy for me after a long day of blowing fashion industry queers, so I lured the the naked street dancing men of Le Marais into my balmy anus with fresh Parisienne currency. Afterwards, I met up with Zippora and some of 'her' 'model' friends friends at a bar named Laperle (a word I had difficulty pronouncing until I removed Zippora's penis from my mouth). Tomorrow: a trip to the Le free clinic.

Charlotte - are you a lesbian
???? - no, im just bisexual.
Charlotte - Oh. Yeah i think im a little bit bisexual too.This doesn't even count as lesbian humour. I doubt this could even make it's way into a 'Peanuts' adult comic strip. I mean, God, can't you just be content with searing you festeringly abrasive images onto my eyeballs via 'Neon Sleep'/the street (I'm glad I'm short sighted), at least I can pretend that you're deaf mutes. This is the peak of western civilization, right? Where assholes can be so self-indigent that they think 'the world' should know their various decontextualized 'witticisms'. Well it shouldn't be and you Charlotte, ????, and anyone else who has ever been on 'Neon Quote' should never speak again. Ever.